Third Most Miserable

I learned about the "Well-Being Index"  while going through my normal news selection process a couple of days ago. It was a story that I might not have read on a different day, but I dug in this day. I wish I hadn't now. It was unsettling, and so dissapointing. This index, compiled by Gallup-Healthways, uses factors such as education levels, general attitude toward life, and obesity -among others. The data is interesting, if not fully scientific, but isn't that the nature of a poll? The article also has a list of the most content cities, but by the time I reached number three on the most miserable list, I quit reading.

I was born in Palm Beach, FL, moved to Cortez, CO where I spent my formative years, then wound up in Mobile, Al. My family is made up of Finnish immigrants, "yankees" (as they say in the South), and my dad is French. These things add up to someone who will never fit in down here, no matter how much time passes. I have been told as much by a country bumpkin. "You will never qualify as a redneck, boy", was the quote. I am also considered a "damn yankee" because I haven't gone back to wherever I came from.  I am imprisoned in a world that I can never be part of; I am only permitted to observe.

Note: Any place West of the Continental Divide cannot be considered "yankee". That doesn't matter around here; if you have a different accent, you're a yankee.

The list and the article were ruined for me when I saw my city lying under a heap of miserable cities. Mobile weighed in at number three, ten being the least miserable of the miserable. Poor physical and mental health, lack of higher education, crime, obesity, and a general sadness or depression were the culprits. I could name off a handful of other issues, but I will only name one. Interstate 10 runs through Mobile, and aside from the overwhelming industrial scape, there is a tunnel. This tunnel runs under the Mobile river, as Mobile has a large port. The problem is that right before you enter the tunnel there is a ninety degree turn. Remember, this is an Interstate highway that runs from Los Angeles to Jacksonville. I can't imagine that this is not unique to Mobile.

What happens at this point of the "Super Slab" (Alabama speak for interstate highway), is crazy. There are four things happening at once; a bottleneck section, the hair-pin curve, the tunnel, and "yankees". These foreigners who pass through have a hard time processing all of this at once. This mind-blow causes the unsuspecting motorist to slam on their brakes, causing a wreck, or grid-lock in the tunnel, and miles of backed up traffic. That section of I-10 is as reliable as Old Faithful during rush hour. It is one of Mobile's charms.

As far as I am concerned, Mobile is a good place. People drive like shit here, but I am happy despite my emotional state. I complain, but I prefer to call it "observing annoying things". I prefer the West, but I found a Southern girl whose radiant skin would not fare well in that climate. We aren't miserable, and we live in Mobile.

In this picture, you can see how the bottleneck begins immediately before the ninety degree curve that welcomes you into the tunnel. Note the "possible trafic delays sign". The powers that be know about this...

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