Money And Love; A Great Couple

We have to make money. Apart from the Amish, and maybe survivalists and cults, we have to produce cash. There are a million jobs you can pick from, and sometimes we pick the one that suits us perfectly. Jobs and the people that have them rarely make enough money to support their lifestyles. Living beyond one's means is the new American dream. The worst part is when you have to be charged usury from the kind banks that extend credit to us. The illusory nature of credit is something that most never try to solve. The fact is that it is a losing game. The magical properties that banks use to artificially boost your net worth are actually not magical at all. It's basic math. It is also a cycle that is hard to get out of; especially when you have to resort to credit to buy gas, or pay a bill that should already be part of your regular budget. I don't mean to give financial advice, I have just seen too many people go under for credit, and the endless pursuit for more money.

When it comes to love, money can be a great additive. I know this is surprising, but some people marry for money and hope the love part will eventually take root. It probably works for some people. Others only make money a consideration when they pick their "soul mate". Financial security takes priority in many relationships, and unfortunately it can be a condition for the love of a "soul mate".

If you are in a serious relationship, and at the same time are in a serious relationship with money or a job/career, there is a great possibility that the two will  be at odds at some point. It creates an environment that does one of two things: You will simply be roommates missing each others lives, or you will have to have a great ability to adapt, and manage time down to the minutes of every day. Relationships take time. They take the right kind of time to work well. I suggest making a time every week to worry about money, and schedule all remaining time outside of work to invest in your "soul mate". You are together for some reason, so you might as well find out why, and what exactly it was that made you feel like you had met your "soul mate" in the first place.

When money is short, it is a normal response to let it consume your time with worry. I do it, and wind up hating that I wasted time on something I cannot control. The money is either there or not, and there is a good chance that your financial life will follow the "feast or famine" principle. Marriage is like that by nature as well, and the ups and downs will never end. The important thing is to keep yourself from feeling trapped by either one.

Watching a couple break up pains me greatly, and I have studied relationships (mostly my own). There are so many ways for them to fall apart, but money can be so stressful that it is a major cause for break ups. In my reading, finances fell in third or fourth of the top ten reasons for divorce. The greatest cure for any marital snafu is always communication. It won't end divorce, but it helps. I am lucky to have a wife who communicates with expert precision. I would have destroyed our relationship years ago if not. Don't be afraid to tell your partner that your libido is in overdrive. Talk to your lover about their annoying habits. Tell your partner if you think they need psychiatric help. Don't ever think your relationship problems are unique. Spend some money on him or her; together.

I quote the term "soul mate" because there is no such thing. There is nothing automatic about a loving, open relationship. If those words are real, it takes years to join souls with another human. The only unexplainable part of a relationship is the level of commitment that comes naturally when you truly like the person you chose. Love has yet to be defined, as it is intangible and ever evolving. Keep money out of your bed, and enjoy the person you chose; it can turn out really well.