Work Ethic 2013: The Pope Quit

For all of the great examples of morality, commitment, and stability, we lost one. The pope quit. In ironworker speak, he "drug up". The stories say it is because of his health, but I think he wanted to quit before he became pope; he was 78 then, now 85. Despite the golden throne, they must not pay them much. Even Americans don't work to 85. I will go easy on him, because if I live to 85, I probably won't want to wave at anyone; probably will flip them off though. I have a few theories on why he really quit, and the impact it will have on society.

First off, age, and the status of a Christian means nothing. If you are Catholic, and you believe that your priest is holier than you, you are believing a lie. He is a well dressed, partially concealed, therapist. Not that wisdom cannot travel alongside age, but wisdom and "holiness" are different. If confessing things to someone makes you feel better, then by all means take the free therapy. Other denominations do it too.

How about President Reagan? He hung on through his whole second term even though he was slipping into the arms of dimentia. This matter has been debated, but there is no publicly available confirmation on whether or not he was competent during the last half of his second term. There is a layer of protection where that is concerned. But he made it. The Pope could have gone into hiding or something if his health is that bad. I am certain there are hundreds of Cardinals waiting in line to sit on the golden throne. I guess it's too late now.

Sin. Maybe he commited a sin that is so heinous that he doesn't have time to say the "hail marys", and "holy fathers". If I was 85 I would pass. At least, if that was the case, he was honest enough to quit. American politicians lie and become more powerful. With a six hundred year tradition screwed, liars may become more prevalent. Crime may spike because of this.

What do we do now? First, we should hope that the next Pope will be younger. The powers that be should do a thorough background check, including mental health records, criminal history, NRA membership, possible ties to terrorist organizations, blood work, hair folicle tests, complete drug screen, tests for unknown heart defects, and brain scans for past concussions. They should also make sure that he is not a drone operator; the last thing we need is one of those falling into church hands. Other than that it should be easy to find another one. The next one might not even be a Christian. Things are strange these days.

Potentially one billion people will be affected by this Vatican shake-up. What message does this send to both devout and casual Catholics? Do they all adapt to the mentality of the highest religious figurehead in the world and decide that commitment doesn't matter? Will unemployment go up around the globe? I guess we have to wait to see what transpires; it is the future after all. In the mean-time, stay tuned to the news so at least someone will find out how the tale will be told.

                                               -Johnny

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