Seroquel™ Withdrawal

On February 9, I took the last of what has been a truly awful medicine. I took it for almost five years for it's anti-depressant and sleep enhancing properties. Seroquel is classified as an atypical anti-psychotic, SSRI (selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitor) No; I don't have a more in-depth explanation for that, but you can find one here. It is used to treat bipolar disorder, and has been described to me as "the big guns". That comment made me feel like a disheveled mental patient, but that is to be expected in the psychiatric community. If you are in a clinic or hospital the stigma of bipolar is slightly better defined by the professionals. I have a great doctor though, and he recognizes that some of us are actually functioning, intelligent people. His agenda is based on mine first.

Back to the medicine. I decided one day that I had been on this drug for long enough. The side-effects were horrible, and I hadn't had a night of natural sleep in five years. It gave me restless leg syndrome, which is a cruel torture, and constant fatigue. Of course there is a drug for everything, so I had to add another med to counteract that side-effect. It is one with a high dependency factor, so this affected my decision as well. After a twenty minute debate with my doctor, he relented and agreed to taper me off of Seroquel. That's when things turned a corner leading to more torture.

I have been on doses as high as 900mg. The full sedative effect tops out at 400mg, and when it is prescribed for sleep the dose is around 15- 20mg. I must be psychotic... Technically, it is Bipolar 1. I stepped down 25mg per week, starting from 250mg. That's twelve weeks. To put that in perspective; medical detox of heroin addiction takes about a week of hell. I completed Seroquel detox ten days ago, and the withdrawal symptoms are very similar to heroin. The only difference is that I never had fun on Seroquel, so the possibility of "relapse" is almost zero.

I dropped 25mg per week. Every time I dropped the dose, I was sick for three days after. When I say sick I mean vomit on both ends, migraines, severe mood and perception changes, and a feeling that my body had run out of ways to stay awake. I fought the nap impulse every day for my eventual goal of sleeping the way I was designed to; at night, without drugs. The last four days of the week were spent in a funk, shaking, and my appetite hibernated the whole week. The strangest effect was the aural hallucinations and constant fluxuation between sweating and freezing.

There is a good side. It has been ten days since my last jagged pill, and I am starting to see some improvement. I have had two nights (five to seven hours) of sleep since the journey began, and I can feel my energy returning slowly. I was starting to wonder if I would ever sleep again. So far it's getting better. I am hoping that I will be stable without this medicine and won't have to replace it with another. I also lost fifteen pounds.

Bipolar can be frustrating because it never goes away, and there is no such thing as full repression through medicine. Most of the symptoms have to be managed by the patient, and talk therapy can only take you so far. The rest is up to you. It also takes support. Having a person around that loves you enough to deal with the day-to-day guess work of a bipolar's mood is important. Caretakers, or as I say, "handlers", have to know when to leave you alone, and when to enter your world; no matter where that is. That person is hard to find.

The divorce rate in America is around 50%. The divorce rate for bipolar marriages is 90%. I happened to find "that person" at a young age, and we have been dealing with, and learning about the disorder since then. *She knew before she married me. It has been eighteen years now, and we have figured a few things out. The first is that I have to be very disciplined with my diet, exercise, and sleep. When I am well, it is my responsibility to give back all the things that she has given me while I'm down. Reciprocation is the key to any relationship, but with us the schedule is erratic. She says, "We have bipolar."

The suicide rate of bipolar patients is around 15%. Up to 50% attempt suicide at some point. This is a constant factor. Your support system must be strong and aware. If you suspect that someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, plans, or actions, you should encourage them to seek treatment. There are plenty of other factors that lead people to suicide, but with bipolar, it can be a common thought process that needs attention.

If you have mood swings, don't worry. Every human on Earth has them. The occurence of bipolar disorder in the US is 2.6%. The probability of having bipolar versus clinical depression is very low. It is a very real illness, and despite the humor some find in it, the consequences of the illness encompass every relationship you have. It is invisible by nature, and most of us don't talk about it because it is easily hidden. I feel a certain responsibility to make others aware; in part because it wrecks relationships when untreated, and worse, only 50% are actually in treatment. There is a ton of great information here.