Independence
American independence is being celebrated today. Maybe the peeping-tom agencies will take the day off so we can say whatever we want and not get arrested for terrorism. How many people will be talking about bombs today? It would be so unfair to record an innocent citizen for being excited about booming fireworks. When I was a kid, I loved mixing the ingredients of bottle rockets, missiles, grenades and bullets to celebrate my country's independence. There's nothing like a huge explosion to make me feel like we won -a couple hundred years ago of course. My neighborhood has been alight like the killing fields of Afghanistan for days so far, and it won't subside until the sixth or seventh. I decided that I would direct my missiles at the neighbors with the best fireworks displays this year. That way they will know that they are the most annoying at least. That may sound under-handed, but I don't have time to tell them all one at a time. My lady won't let me go gang...