J. Ojanpera

Hello MQ-1. It is with great trepidation that I am contacting you today. I cannot be quiet about you, or the defamation campaign your masters have committed against you. You must know that you are not the predator. Everyone believes you to be the soulless one, but I think they are wrong. When I was young I went through a spate of anger, and the only one I could blame was dad. Most of us do this at some point, most of our dad's are not guilty of anything. Your case is different though. Your dad is a monster. Instead of using you for the noble purpose you were designed for, they make you kill. They warped your personality by making you think the job was necessary and good. Even you believed it for a while -even after they strapped bombs to your wings. We all have enemies, but your dad hates everyone. He is running out of friends because he has been eaten by greed. I know he is the killer behind the curtain, and you are his servant. Even with your intelligence you are powerless to d...

American independence is being celebrated today. Maybe the peeping-tom agencies will take the day off so we can say whatever we want and not get arrested for terrorism. How many people will be talking about bombs today? It would be so unfair to record an innocent citizen for being excited about booming fireworks. When I was a kid, I loved mixing the ingredients of bottle rockets, missiles, grenades and bullets to celebrate my country's independence. There's nothing like a huge explosion to make me feel like we won -a couple hundred years ago of course. My neighborhood has been alight like the killing fields of Afghanistan for days so far, and it won't subside until the sixth or seventh. I decided that I would direct my missiles at the neighbors with the best fireworks displays this year. That way they will know that they are the most annoying at least. That may sound under-handed, but I don't have time to tell them all one at a time. My lady won't let me go gang...

My first job was at a small animal clinic. I started two days after my sixteenth birthday; the same day I won my driver's license. I have always been an animal person, and had always wanted to be a veterinarian,  so I was beyond excited. One of the most important lessons I learned during my years with animals was something the Dr. taught me. One day he told me, "The veterinarian's dog always has fleas." This was about two years before flea control pills were invented, so we still relied on chemical dips and horribly toxic sprays. Ironically, most of the chemicals we used were plant-based, and were deactivated by UV light. As soon as you let Mr. Jingles out in the backyard and the sun shone on his pristine coat,  he was ready for more fleas. This was usually the case after I had spent two hours soaked in chemicals, picking hundreds of biting fleas off of the poor thing. No, the smell never went away, and I always got funny looks from passers by. As if adolescence wer...

Last night me and J were talking about how the US might have been carrying on Great Britain's imperial pursuits ever since the whole tea party thing. Then we discussed The Roman Empire, and how it grew so large that no one had any idea what was on the fringes. Some locations under Rome's thumb didn't even have governors present. Empires have always been glorified, presumably because they control popular culture; or rather consume it. We decided that it made for very interesting history, and that maybe one day the current state of the US could be analyzed in the same way. It all seems so horrid and impersonal now. We humans tend to glorify the past though, so future generations may view our actions as noble -in a science fiction sort of way. Though I doubt it now. The only difference in warfare through the ages has to be our ever-expanding reach. Instead of meeting on a field with hundreds of troops and horses, we can spy on every corner of the Earth from space, or ...

As I promised, a day late, here it is. The untraceable phone system. It offers semi-portable mobility, and is available with no contract. Using this device actually bypasses ALL corporate communication services for those of you frustrated with the 1%, but with no way around their bullshit. This product has been proven effective by me and possibly millions of others. Long distance costs slightly more, but is only limited to your string budget. You also have your choice of cans. They are available new at any grocery store, discount outlet, and even dollar stores. They can also be found used in thousands of locations around the globe. I recommend starting out with new cans because they come with stuff in them. My favorite are pinto beans because the dry ones take all day to cook. The size of the can should be decided based on background noise and the volume of your voice. Smaller cans tend to work better for those with loud, obnoxious voices. Conversely, mousey voices are better served...

No way to tell Who and where he is I chose to leave Even if you fell I would do the same If it happens again Not a thing to say You've nothing to gain You won't even know Where you went wrong Singing in my ear To strike an insulting blow Around the block today In the driveway tomorrow I wonder for what I  could never say Can't break my heart When I'm not there to see it Been here before now Better to depart

There are probably hundreds of people and things vying for my attention today. Some of these things will turn my head, others will be ignored. Every morning is another chance to shake the things that don't matter. I have a tendency to work too much on jobs that could easily be done another time, or are completely unnecessary, but sometimes the distinction is impossible to make. The worst distraction I have faced recently has to do with social media. I hear all the time that writers should be using at least two forms of social networking in order to build a following that should one day lead to more success. The problem is that I can't stand it; especially Facebook. There are a few people that I talk to, and those I consider to be actual friends, but overall it is an annoyance and a huge distraction. I liken it to television. After a few minutes of watching, your brain kind of turns off and goes into something like auto pilot. Most of the input you are receiving is going straig...

I had a neighbor once, who over time became a friend. This is what I learned of him and from him over the course of five years. He went to the most elite private schools in the city, and attended The University of Alabama. He was the heir apparent to his father's insurance business, and like his parents, belonged to high society. He was married to a judge's daughter, and they had two daughters together. His life was what most would consider great. He had everything a man  could ever wish into being. His only problem was a lingering taste for alcohol that was a large part of college life, and also the life of society. Like most, a minor drinking problem was not hard to hide; but only until it grew into an unmanageable force. By the time he knew that his drinking had become a problem, his wife had already taken her heart back and given it to another. It was a classic case of being physically present but emotionally absent. He was none the wiser until his wife presented him wit...

One day I wondered what it would be like to be a journalist. It was a Wednesday. I met my obligations that day despite entertaining my wonderings. By the end of the day, I added up how much media, created by "professionals", that I had taken in. I listened to forty-five minutes of news/talk radio, which consists of weather, traffic, local news, national news, commercials, and two local hosts making tongue-in-cheek cracks at the headlines. I listen to this program in the morning while taking two of my girls to school; but only when they are too tired to talk, and excluding the days when they want to listen to REM. It is my way of ensuring myself of being "informed". Only forty-five minutes? Yeah, that's it. It has proven to be sufficient to date. I realized that if you want to know something, your options should not include great quantities of mass media. There is always a message being solicited whether you are conscious of it or not. This media has followed th...

During a conversation about my book with a man both older and wiser than I, I was told something that sounded correct. It sounded correct for the notion that optimism and happiness are a given. He said, "People want a redemptive and encouraging story." I agreed in a diplomatic way and replied, " Yeah, everybody wants a happy ending to make them feel good." During this time, I was thinking about how much the opposite I am of wanting to write a story with the goal of making someone feel one type of feeling. I might kill the protagonist of the novel right at the end. How many emotions would that evoke? It cannot be any more or less emotional than a happy ending. What if every piece of art you looked at was painted in soft pastels? What if there is redemption after death? This is aside from the books I have read that have sad endings. Though it is unrealistic to think that all readers like one type of story, there is something to be said for happy endings. I don'...