Mid-Life Crisis

Just a heads-up, I don't think that I am of the age to have a mid-life crisis. I might be close, but I'm pretty sure my life is far past the middle. Statistically, I have about 19 years left. I have observed many men going through this crisis. Some of them lose their shit and buy douche bag cars, rent hookers, leave their wives, and whatever other cliche' you can think up. Some men glide through this period like it's nothing. How might they go about this? I pulled a few tips out of nowhere but my head; as usual.

What are the potential causes of a mid-life crisis?  Is there a cure?

1. Regret: Some men put their hopes and dreams away when they decide to start a family. Sometimes we make decisions when we are too young or emotionally immature to comprehend what it means to marry and have children. If we deprive ourselves of the things we love to do or want to accomplish, we could be building a time-bomb of regret when we see that we unnecessarily sacrificed who we are. Your family will be proud of your accomplishments outside of your job. Try it.

2. The Kids: By the time you are forty, there is a good chance that the kids are getting close to leaving the nest. Again, if some of us worked our lives away, we might realize that we have missed them growing up. I hope that I am always able to stay engaged with who my girls really are. I know first-hand how they magically speed up time, so it would be easy to miss the little things. It has to be very intentional on a father's part to not let this time slip away. I can imagine it to be very devastating to look back and see that all you did was finance their up-bringing.

3. A Boring Marriage: By the time I turn forty, I will have been married for...twenty years. If the past and present trends continue, I might not fall apart when my brain goes to middle-age land. Men have to be careful not to focus on the other side of the fence. First of all, the grass is greener because dogs shit there. Next, you may not be as handsome as you think. Your wife probably isn't the hottie that you remember her being when she surprised you with a "yes", but imagine how beautiful she is for having your kids, and always having your back. Married couples are partners by law, and we generally co-habitate. Technically, that could amount to commitment. If you are already commited to someone you love, you should be noticing each other; if for nothing more than how different the two of you have become. Whatever the case, do it consistently.

4. Religion: I grew up in a family who was at church at least three times a week. It was mandatory as long as you lived under his roof. I got a head start on life. By the time I graduated, I felt like it was three years too late. I moved out three months after. For me, religion was a deluded cure for being human, and it went completely against my grain. Social functions are good and healthy, but three times a week is obsessive at best. We don't have the same friends over three times a week; it's weird. Anyway, I learned how to drown the guilt through the years. What if a man pulls his head out of his church when the big crisis hits, and he realizes that all this sacrifce and money was in exchange for having a life. That would be a tough one to swallow. In a way, this is worse than being married to a job, because you pay them to program you repetitiously. When you learn the program at work they pay you. The cure for this is easy; be habitual with the time you have face-to-face with your lover, and your kids. If you prefer religion as your drug of choice, then by all means, don't look out the window. There's a big sinful world out there, crumbling into corruption and anarchy. It wants to corrupt you.

To put it all together, I believe this crisis can be averted. I have seen it done. It takes balance and exceptional time management skills. We can't stare at our feet for twenty years and then suddenly look up and wonder what the hell just happened. We cannot wait until we turn forty to realize that emotion is what makes us alive. Hopefully I will try to practice what I say. I am soon to find out what sort of mid-life experience I will have.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Intervention

I had a neighbor once, who over time became a friend. This is what I learned of him and from him over the course of five years. He went to the most elite private schools in the city, and attended The University of Alabama. He was the heir apparent to his father's insurance business, and like his parents, belonged to high society. He was married to a judge's daughter, and they had two daughters together. His life was what most would consider great. He had everything a man  could ever wish into being. His only problem was a lingering taste for alcohol that was a large part of college life, and also the life of society. Like most, a minor drinking problem was not hard to hide; but only until it grew into an unmanageable force. By the time he knew that his drinking had become a problem, his wife had already taken her heart back and given it to another. It was a classic case of being physically present but emotionally absent. He was none the wiser until his wife presented him with
Read more

Representation 101

On April 19, 2013 I wrote my U.S. Representative, Jo Bonner (R) a letter containing questions about CISPA (H.R. 624). I generally expect to recieve a form letter in return for my thoughts, but this time I got something a little better. I read over the bill after it had flown through the House, and while it was still on a few American minds. My questions were based on the following: Page 10 - line 5-24 "Federal Government in accordance with subsection (b)- (A) for cyber security purposes; (B) for the investigation and prosecution of cyber security crimes (C) for the protection of individuals from the danger of death or serious bodily harm and the investigation and prosecution of crimes involving such danger of death or serious bodily harm; (D) for the protection of minors from child pornography, any risk of sexual exploitation, and serious threats to the physical safety of minors, including kidnapping and trafficking and the investigation and prosecution of crimes involving c
Read more

U.S. vs. Iran: What are we missing?

There is constant chatter and media alarm in the US concerning Iran. As usual, we are fed the information that is not only one-sided, but is mostly a smoke bomb hiding many of the fouls that we have commited against a country that is not very different from some of our "allies" in the region. Actually, the media has made a conscious decision to ignore the facts, and keep them distorted for propaganda reasons. Iran and the US have an ugly history and today, the history has turned to a selective dismantling of a potentially great nation. Iran, and the region it was born in began around 3,200 BCE. Iran reigns as one of the oldest, major continuous civilizations. America on the other hand was established around 1776. That means that a culture, effectively five thousand years older than ours has an edge, and is certainly more well defined. Even our European counterparts can't compete with that. Iranian culture, though battered and abused, remains intact, and that is much mor
Read more