Filibuster For Thursday

   I plan to filibuster Thursday. I have to stop everything that looks like forward motion. This is something that I rarely use, as it can give the appearance of being stubborn simply because I believe differently, or just on principle alone. It really is better this way. This protest will affect my community in a big way, but they won't know it happened until the news breaks on Friday. I cannot be concerned with the community, because I don't agree with what each member is saying. Until they agree or offer an answer that I like, I will not yield.
   So how does a person like me filibuster an entire day? I will duct tape my mailbox closed so I can't get any news; good or bad. The tv is already off, so I won't fall victim to lawyers and drug companies telling me how to make money to buy the drugs they make. They won't tell me what happened, or did not happen in DC. I will give the newspaper to my fire pit tonight. You have to build a fire with the best tinder possible. I know this probably raises a concern about coupons, but I rarely find any products that I regularly purchase. They don't exactly cater to vegetarians.
   I will make one exception today for the sanitation engineers; they deserve to have a full truck when they go to the dump. They pay the same rate whether they are full or not. Plus, I like their agenda; "Don't analyze it, throw it out". School buses have to be granted passage as well because I would de pissed if my kids didn't come home. I am filibustering fender benders too. Everyone wants a smooth drive across town, even if they are trying to spread news that I have already filibustered.
   I will leave the police out of this, they are doing a great job according to recently disclosed reports. They say that crime went down in every precinct in our city. I might have to filibuster that report, because it had to be pryed from Police Chief Michael T. Williamses hands, way later than it should have been. One of Mobile Mayor Sam Joneses 'book cookers' must have taken longer to cook the reports than we and the media liked. Mr. Mayor, you are filibustered for today; if you are in town. The city council gets a school excuse today because they are just as out of the loop as the rest of the city is.
   Now that I have blocked any and all things that I refuse to go along with, I can move the rest of the house resolutions through. I am passing the following bills:

1. My kids will be loved to the point of hysterical laughter.
2. My queen will be left with no need for anything that falls into my realm of procurement.
3. Loki will run around the yard at will, and when he chases me and bites my butt, I will laugh while his tail wags perpetually.
4. Sunny, my cat will have her special bone china bowl for water; she hates dog slobber. (she talks and we understand each other)
5. I will watch the wild gladiolus around the mailbox grow. It happens very quickly.

   Those resolutions will be effective immediately so I can enjoy what I love. The things I filibustered will have to wait until my recess is over. Don't look for me around town; it's filibustered too. Today is perfect for blocking out the things we don't like so we can focus on what we do like, or love. It matters to me, and if you are miserable and in great need of a filibuster, do it. Be a jack-ass and tell them they are not free to pass any laws in your kingdom. The 'filibusterers' have given us a great model for our lives, I'm going to use it. They are the leaders of the greatest nation on earth, right? Thank you Congress, you have taught me well.

                                         -Johnny
  

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